Been cleaning out my lingerie chest. It wasn't my intention to clean out my lingerie chest. However, a certain person in my house decided that the contents of said chest needed to be on the floor and not in said chest, and once that certain person had picked them all up off the floor, I wasn't going to put them all back in without taking advantage of the current purge movement going on around here. (How's that for finding the silver lining in an ugly incident?)
Anyway, I should really call that piece of furniture a lingering chest. That's where otherwise unclassifiable stuff gets put, and it lingers there, unseen, unused, unloved, for years. In addition to the items you'd expect to find in a lingerie chest -- items that may not have ever fit me -- I purged the ted hose from my gall bladder surgery, saved because some day I might need them, and they're very expensive if I have to buy them new, or I might need them as a back-up pair while Pair #1 is in the laundry. I also purged the boy shorts underwear that I thought would be so comfy, along with the girlie versions of the boy shorts that, in hindsight, are actually granny panties that make my hind a sight more than they ought. And the trouser socks with no elasticity left, not that the elastic ever landed in a place that would do any good as mid-fattest-part-of-the-calf is not the ideal elastic landing zone for keeping socks up.
I still have to sort through the toastie socks. This is going to be tough. I wear them to bed but kick them off overnight, leading to a big problem: Much like the lone sock in the dryer, by morning, I can find only one of the toastie socks toed off overnight. It seems that the bottom of my bed has become the Twilight Zone for toastie socks. I've taken to wearing mismatched pairs because really, it's dark at night, under the covers, so who cares if my toastie socks match? And now my purging job is harder: I just discovered that lingering in the lingerie chest lo these seven years was a pair of Looney Tunes Taz Toastie Socks. Some things you just don't purge.