Thursday, February 11, 2010

Whistling shrimp in the hangout

I have always wanted to be the the mom who lets her kids' friends come over and hang out.  Be the one to offer a safe place for them.  Not worry overmuch about the furniture or the floors.

My daughter (10 years old) has a good handful of friends, most of whom are also in her Girl Scout troop, which I lead.  In our basement.  Twice a month.  I digress.  What I've discovered over the past couple of years is that even though I really want to be that mom, I usually want them all to go homeNow.  My house is not their playground; it's my house.  My stuff is not for them to touch, pick up, peruse; it's my stuff.  My daughter's stuff is okay to play with but not to strew around the house when interest wanes; put it away when you're done with it.  And please come to play with my daughter and not to play with my daughter's stuff; I know it's new to you, but it hurts her feelings.

Maybe I need to find the middle ground between "the hangout" and "all friends are banned until they learn RESPECT (which means forever)."  Maybe something like posting a list of rules to include:
  • If I already know the answer, don't ask Ms. Terri the question.
  • I always have permission to use the bathroom without asking, and I will wash my hands sufficiently afterwards.
  • If I need help, I will ask for it and not make Ms. Terri guess that I need it.
  • I will clean up after myself.
  • Adults are much more likely to give me what I want if I'm polite and respectful; adults have no desire to give me what I want when I am rude, disrespectful, and demanding.
  • I will lay out my wet snow clothes and boots on the provided mats and let them dry because it is not funny to watch Ms. Terri blow a gasket when she finds them wadded up inside out in a pile on the floor nowhere near said obvious mat.
Yeah, I know.  Shrimp are whistling and pigs are flying.  Maybe I need a Plan B.


Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

Hi there - Thanks so much for the blog comments and support ... I WILL write the book and I think the positive encouragement is awesome!

Laughing at this post ... I feel the SAME way about kid's friends ... want to be that mom, but yet ...? Still striving? And seriously, about the bathroom thing, wash you hands after ... please and thank you!

Juliana said...

Oh man...I am so not prepared for all of son is 21 months. But as soon as you said girl scouts, I started drooling over the thoughts of tagalongs. Ha ha. I hope that I can learn from you ladies for whem my turn comes!!

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