Monday, April 26, 2010

Versus

Over the past couple of weeks, there's been an issue at the bus stop involving my 10-year-old daughter and two other 4th-grade girls.  Today it was so noticeable that another parent spoke to me about it, so that tells me it's time to involve the girls' parents.

It started pretty subtly:  Neither of the girls would talk to my daughter at the bus stop.  When I asked them if they were mad at her, they said no, and one of them moved to talk with her.  I thought that had taken care of it, but the ignoring continued the next couple of days.  The next time I intervened was because not only weren't they talking to her, but they also positioned their bodies to totally exclude her, and when she moved (at my direction) to join the group, they turned their backs on her.  I broke into their group, asked them again if they were mad at her ("no"), and told them that their body language was being mean to her.  Again, one of them moved to include her.

This morning, the two girls were already at the bus stop before my daughter and I arrived.  Another parent observed that when one of the girls saw that my daughter was coming out of our house, she whispered to the other while looking back at my daughter, and the result was that the two girls moved down the side road.  The parent saw that one girl continued to check on my daughter's whereabouts, and the two girls continued to whisper.  When the bus pulled up, they walked right past my daughter without a word.

My daughter tells me that she sits with them on the bus (and is not allowed to move), and they ignore her there, too.  She is very hurt.  That's about all I'm going to say about that.

I don't believe that either of the girls has to play with my daughter; some kids just aren't going to end up being best buds.  But I do believe that they can't be mean to her, and this is absolutely not acceptable anymore.  Even if my daughter had done something to offend them, this response isn't appropriate, and they all need to work on resolving issues appropriately.  If my daughter has done nothing, well...

Either way, the meanness, which, frankly, has reached nonverbal bullying levels, has to stop.  I need the parents to help me get to the bottom of what's going on.  I don't expect that just because the girls are neighbors, they have to be friends, but I do expect friendly relations.  And I won't tolerate bullying.

1 comment:

Lori said...

What a big difference the move from an 'e' to a 'u' makes huh?

I hate this. Girls (and as one, by rights I can say this) can be and are just SO mean. I hate it. It IS hurtful. And starts so young.
I pray that the parents are open to at least some sort of resolution. You're right--they don't have to be friends, but they shouldn't be mean. And I'd look into moving on the bus as well, if N is up to that.
Praying for a civil resolution that makes things better! xoxo