Saturday, October 29, 2011

Green-eyed ugly

I have a Facebook friend who is forever -- or so it seems to me -- posting photos of herself, her husband, her friends, sometimes her kids, on vacations or at parties or other events.  Lots of alcohol, smiles, hugs, "a good time being had by all."

It makes me so mad.  I'm envious.  We go few places.  We do so little.  Every moment feels fraught with the tensions of my family's crises.  How can this woman, mother of a child on the spectrum, do all these fun things?  Why are we so trapped?

Most of the time when I envy my friends, I don't begrudge them their opportunities.  I don't want them not to have these fun times.  I just want them, too!  (Mostly.  I could live without the trips to the raceway or the yearly opening of the Tiki Bar that some friends attend -- nice but not my thing.)  When a different friend went on a cruise with a bunch of her girlfriends a few weeks ago, I thought, "How nice for her!"  I meant it; I was happy that she was able to get away.  I also thought, though, "Wouldn't it be something to get away like that!"

I don't know why this other friend's good times set my teeth on edge.  I've thought and thought about it and can't find a reason.  They just do, and it feels ugly to have this reaction again and again.  I don't like it.

So friends, if you're in a praying mood, would you help me out with prayers to let it go?  Peace would be nice, too.  Thanks.

1 comment:

Lori said...

Definitely.

And if it makes you feel any better, you can be SUPER envious of the pooplosion I got to handle yesterday...and John conveniently missed out on, ha ha.

Honestly, it wasn't bad. Maybe you could be envious of the move process. That's been a Pain In My REAR!!!

Miss you!