Monday, January 16, 2012

Crossroads

We're coming up to some major crossroads:  Should my daughter stay in STEM?  Should she receive special education services?  Should she be admitted to a diagnostic hospital?  Is the diet helping?  Are the meds working?  Are the behavioral interventions working?  Is therapy helping?  Will she be able to start fresh with the new semester?

All of these questions, plus the many, many questions not mentioned, are bringing us down.  It feels like every answer brings new questions. 

In addition, there just seems to be so much to do:  Trying to find variety in the dietary restrictions; shopping for that variety.  Starting another child in the IEP process; dealing with the daily reasons she may need special education services.  Keeping out-of-town doctor appointments; keeping local appointments.  Arranging to get away to help my siblings with my mother's house; waiting for my mother's death to hit me.  Trying to find thrifty ways to do what needs to be done; robbing Peter to pay Paul.

I'm trying so hard to remember to pray.  Sometimes I say I'm going to and I don't.  Sometimes I have no words.  Sometimes my thoughts boing around so fast I start to and then stop mid-sentence.

And I have to try to listen.  Praying is only part of it; I have to be open to hearing the answers to my prayers.



3 comments:

Anonymous said...

hi Terri. at times like that for me i ask to pray 'in the spirit' and the prayer comes so clear, powerful, and effective. :)imho soph

Lori said...

Don't worry if you can't pray sometimes. Don't doubt that others know that feeling...and are glad and honored to pray for you!
xoxo

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

The questions are difficult, and while I am not posting on my blog (since I am in the middle of a custody battle! But I've been there with the mental health issues and decisions - as of this Jan/Feb. Divorce and its fall-out is not sitting well with my sweet sweet boy.) SO, I will pray for you, and if you need someone to talk to, I also have a good listening ear. - JS